Embrace the liberating truth that sometimes, the most profound way to care for others is by letting them forge their own paths. This episode of Never Stop Building dives into the art of acceptance and the power that comes from respecting individual journeys. I, Sam Kaufman, explore how your ambitions to grow, whether as an exceptional parent or an inspired business leader, can inadvertently shape the lives around you. We'll unpack why sometimes the best help we can offer is to step back, conserving our energy for where it's most effective and appreciated.
Navigating the complexities of personal relationships while pursuing growth can feel like a tightrope walk, but it's a balance that can be mastered. This conversation goes beyond the common discourse on time management to focus on the crucial aspect of energy management—knowing when to give and when to preserve your vitality for your own journey. We confront the trepidation that comes with stepping into the unknown alone and debunk the notion that we need others to validate our path. Through this episode, I promise an empowering perspective shift, guiding you to walk confidently on your own while accepting others from a place of love, even at a distance.
The finale of our discussion centers on authenticity, the beauty of self-growth, and the freedom from seeking approval. Sharing my personal narratives, I illustrate how embracing your unique story and learning from life's challenges can lead to both personal and professional fulfillment. Let's shed the weight of external expectations together and discover the joy of giving to those who value our gifts. As you listen, I hope to inspire you to own your journey, let go of the need to alter others, and let everyone be, knowing that in doing so, you're on the path to building your most elite self.
Thank you for listening! If this podcast brings you value - do the whole community a solid and give it a rate, review or subscribe and send it to someone who would benefit from it.
Check Out Sam Kaufman here:
www.samkaufmanofficial.com
Instagram @samkaufmanofficial
Facebook @samkaufmanofficial
Linkedin @samkaufmanofficial
Embrace the liberating truth that sometimes, the most profound way to care for others is by letting them forge their own paths. This episode of Never Stop Building dives into the art of acceptance and the power that comes from respecting individual journeys. I, Sam Kaufman, explore how your ambitions to grow, whether as an exceptional parent or an inspired business leader, can inadvertently shape the lives around you. We'll unpack why sometimes the best help we can offer is to step back, conserving our energy for where it's most effective and appreciated.
Navigating the complexities of personal relationships while pursuing growth can feel like a tightrope walk, but it's a balance that can be mastered. This conversation goes beyond the common discourse on time management to focus on the crucial aspect of energy management—knowing when to give and when to preserve your vitality for your own journey. We confront the trepidation that comes with stepping into the unknown alone and debunk the notion that we need others to validate our path. Through this episode, I promise an empowering perspective shift, guiding you to walk confidently on your own while accepting others from a place of love, even at a distance.
The finale of our discussion centers on authenticity, the beauty of self-growth, and the freedom from seeking approval. Sharing my personal narratives, I illustrate how embracing your unique story and learning from life's challenges can lead to both personal and professional fulfillment. Let's shed the weight of external expectations together and discover the joy of giving to those who value our gifts. As you listen, I hope to inspire you to own your journey, let go of the need to alter others, and let everyone be, knowing that in doing so, you're on the path to building your most elite self.
Thank you for listening! If this podcast brings you value - do the whole community a solid and give it a rate, review or subscribe and send it to someone who would benefit from it.
Check Out Sam Kaufman here:
www.samkaufmanofficial.com
Instagram @samkaufmanofficial
Facebook @samkaufmanofficial
Linkedin @samkaufmanofficial
Welcome to Never Stop Building, where we discuss all things business, growth and leveling up to become the most elite version of yourself. We're here to challenge fear and shatter doubt. Let's dive in what's up everybody. Welcome back to Never Stop Building. I'm your host, sam Kaufman, as always, super excited and grateful to be here talking to you today.
Speaker 1:So today's podcast topic is Let them Be, and this is going to be simple, but this is going to be difficult, it's going to be challenging and it's going to be a little different, and I've talked about this before a couple of times. As far as I've touched on in the past, you don't have to leave people behind. You don't have to leave anybody behind. What you do have to do is allow people to be where they are and they want to be, so you don't have to leave anybody behind. People make a choice whether to grow with you or grow with themselves. It's not bad, and so the essence of this is it's not wrong. Somebody choosing to grow in a direction that you're not growing, or do something that you don't do, or go down a path you don't want to go down, doesn't necessarily mean that their path and their direction is wrong. What it can mean is just they're not going the way that you want. I'm going to touch on some stuff in this episode that you might not want to hear regarding, like, taking an assessment of your actual motives for why you're trying to drag people along to begin with. And so our topic again Let them Be, and the message here is man, let people be where they're at. There are so many people that want help, that are seeking assistance, seeking guidance, looking for help, looking for a person who has a gift for making an impact and helping others to come along and help them, and every minute that you waste trying to help somebody who isn't interested in what you have to offer is a minute that is being taken away from somebody who wants it.
Speaker 1:You know, there's a phrase in recovery that I heard for years and years that recovery is not for people who need it, it's for people who want it, and what that means is man, there's a lot more people who need help than there are people who want and are willing to take the steps to get, to receive, to implement help, and so what I'm telling you is, if you're somebody that wants to make an impact and help people and change things, and that's just like in your family, right? I had a call with somebody today who was, like man, I don't think I have big dreams of making this big influence and impact like you guys do. Like I just want to be the best dad possible and the best business owner possible. Like dude, that is a big dream of making an impact. Do you know how many men don't even want to be the best dad possible, don't even want to be the best CEO possible, don't even want to be the best business owner possible? They're the best employee possible. They're the best friend possible. Just wanting to be the best anything possible means you're going to make a big, giant impact. It's going to impact in people's lives. It's unavoidable at that point. That's what you're going to do. You're going to impact people, you're going to help people, you're going to challenge people. You're going to help people grow.
Speaker 1:We all have a gift, though, and that gift needs to be protected and given very intentionally to the people who want to receive it. You see, I spent a very long time giving my gift to everybody. Every single person I came in contact with. I kept getting burned and burned, and burned, and lied to and lied to. These people I don't think, and there's people that would argue with what I'm about to say, people very close to me who would tell me I'm wrong about what I'm about to say. But I don't think those people were being malicious. Most of the time I think they just weren't in a place to receive what I had to offer. I think the intentions were good, that they wanted some of the help that they saw me giving other people, but they weren't ready or able to implement what was necessary to actually receive that gift.
Speaker 1:What happens is, when I give you my gift, I expend energy. I give you my gift and I expend energy. I give you my gift and I expend energy. Then I have no gift left. When that person who really, really needs it comes by and says, sam, I need some help with this, then, man, I'm energy out, I'm energy out. I talk about energy on this podcast all the time protecting your energy, managing your energy, energy management is the highest form of self-management. Under that is time management and under that is task management. All these things are correlated.
Speaker 1:But if I'm always giving away my gifts, at some point I'm going to be exhausted out and have nothing left to give, and for me, I want a need to give the right things to the right people. So let them be meaning. If somebody isn't interested in picking up what you're putting down, let them be. If somebody has made it clear that they're not going to take the suggestions, the advice that they keep coming to you for, let them be. If somebody has made it abundantly clear that they're not going on this journey with you, let them be.
Speaker 1:And here's the reality of the situation. For some of you, you only want to drag these people with you because you're too scared to do this by yourself. I'm going to repeat that, for some of you, you only want to drag these people from your old life with you because you're too afraid to take the risk alone, too afraid to risk the money alone, too afraid to risk your time alone, too afraid to risk your energy alone, too afraid to risk your emotions alone. You're too afraid to be alone to go out there on that path. You see the path, it's clear to you, but you want these three or four people to come with you because you don't want to walk alone, you don't want to push alone, you don't want to go alone. Well, guess what You're going to have to. There is no way around taking the first few dozen steps by yourself. And again, that's what we're becoming like.
Speaker 1:Coaching comes into play. There's fitness coaching and spiritual coaching and business coaching and life coaching. There's all kinds of coaching. There's all kinds of community. There's all kinds of free groups, there's all kinds of help books. You never have to be alone, but that very first step, that first step into the next journey, that's alone. You have no choice but to take that first step by yourself, even if two or three people quote unquote come with you. They don't. They're not. You'll grow, you'll change. You will at some point have to let them be, and it's going to be one of the hardest things you have to do. But you've got to do it.
Speaker 1:In love, I see so much content with people talking about like leave fucking people behind and I don't talk to my own mother anymore because she's not an entrepreneur and I like I don't. That stuff's crazy. That stuff is crazy to me. You can love anybody where they're at, and sometimes from a distance and sometimes not from a distance. But if you need every single person to be an exact replica of you in order to talk to them, say hello to them, spend some time with them, like, but you got some shit to work on, like serious stuff to work on. You don't need to do that. You don't need to go this route of leave everybody behind and you can't even hang out with your own family anymore. They don't understand because I'm trying to get wealthy Like bro. They don't need to understand, like, if you're somebody's son, like they don't need to support you trying to get wealthy, just go hang out for Christmas dinner. They don't need that. Your aunt, second remove, doesn't need to support your entrepreneur. Like, why do you even feel like you need all that? And that's what I'm talking about. Let them be. You don't need everybody's approval and support and hand holding to go take the journey on your own.
Speaker 1:Nobody who's ever walked the path has come back and said I shouldn't have done that. How many people online do you ever see and I'm not talking about people don't make mistakes. I've made a ton of them. Everybody does. Every hyper successful person I know makes a ton of mistakes which you own. Those mistakes you pick up from those mistakes. You don't make those mistakes twice, hopefully. That's not what I'm saying, but how many people do you see get on any kind of like podcast or the news. I go. Well, I took the journey to be better and I really regretted it. So I went way back in the other direction to be worse, because that was easier and better for my family and better for my health. Zero, no one ever comes out and says I shouldn't have done that, that was a mistake, just like taking the step, taking the journey.
Speaker 1:And so you have no actual evidence to believe that you can't do this by yourself or you shouldn't do this first step by yourself. You have no evidence to believe that you need any of the people support to go out and make something of yourself in any category of your life. You don't. I'm not saying it doesn't help and doesn't feel good, but support can be earned. It can absolutely be earned.
Speaker 1:I see people talk all the time. Men talk about their spouses don't support this, she doesn't support this thing. Well, how many times have you said you were going to do something and didn't? Well, a lot Cool. So like you haven't earned support, so like your only option now is to go do it and prove your man and your word, you're not going to get support anymore.
Speaker 1:A lot of us get support the first two or three times we say we're going to do something, we're going to go on that diet, we're going to start that business, we're going to save that money, we're going to take that trip, we're going to do this, I'm going to do weekly date nights, we're going to, and then you don't show up and then you can't let the other person be. So then, like a lot of people that go down the journey, you go down the journey of the professional development, the personal development, whatever the being better, and you expect, like three weeks in, these same people that you let down for eight years are just going to turn around and support the hell out of you. Like, no, you have to make it worth their while. Let them be, let them be unsupportive.
Speaker 1:I've never seen anybody years into consistency have to have like the most important one or two people in their life not eventually turn it around and say, man, like you did it, you did it, you did it. I trust you, I believe in you, I believe in what you're doing, I love you for this. Blah, blah, blah, blah. It's always like a month in I've been doing this for a month that my wife doesn't support me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 10 years not shown up. I'm not surprised.
Speaker 1:Why don't you give it a year of consistency, a year of showing up, a year of keeping your word, a year of not lying, a year of being that person that you say you're going to be and let them be? You have to be able to let people be. Not everybody wants to pick up what you're putting down, and that's okay. Your gift is a precious, precious, precious thing. Whatever your gift is, whatever that is for you, that you offer into the world, it's precious and it needs to be respected. It needs to be protected and it needs to be given abundantly, abundantly, but to the right people.
Speaker 1:So once somebody proves to you they're not the person, stop ignoring the red flags, but don't hate them for it, don't judge them for it, don't convince them they're bad or wrong or stupid or anything for it. Just let them be and move on. And as much as this may sound like, letting them be is for them, it's really for you, because you carry the angst of wishing they were something they are not. They don't carry it, you do. And if you can, just let them be all the time, you don't care that angst anymore and you will find somebody who respects your gift, who appreciates what you're trying to do, who wants the help that you offer, who shows up when you call. Who shows up when they call you?
Speaker 1:I can't tell you how many times people call me for advice, take my time and then don't do anything with it, and over the years I've learned to weed those people out faster and so like I don't take calls from people who have done that to me for years and years and years and I'm the asshole for it, and I know that. I know they think that and I will let them be. I will not prove them wrong. I will not call them and explain myself. I will not convince them that the reason I don't want to talk to them is because they refuse to take action. I don't need them to know my perspective. I'm just gonna let them be. I don't need people to agree with every decision I make. I'm just gonna let them be. I don't need people to understand why I do every single thing that I do for myself, for my family or my finances or my future. Just gonna let them be.
Speaker 1:I don't need the approval anymore of everybody else and we get so sucked into needing to be approved and validated and liked and understood. The only way to be approved and validated and liked and understood by the masses is to be one of the masses, and I refuse to be that, and that means evolution over time. That means walking a lonely path sometimes. That means trusting myself and what I feel and what I think over the masses and the opinions of most others, but it also means I let them be. I don't need to change their mind, I don't need them to like me, I don't need them to approve of me, I don't need them to validate me. I want and hope and pray for good things to happen to all of these people, but what I hope and pray for is that they find the right person, the right outlet, the right community, the right pathway to getting what they want.
Speaker 1:Because once you've proven that I'm not that pathway, I can't help you, or my communication isn't it? Or my tonality, or my information, my delivery, my story, what there's nothing left for me to give. See, my gift is in my story. My gift is in the mistakes that I've made. My gift is in my failures and I've had plenty of them, from drug addiction to marriage failures, to parenting failures, to business failures, and my gift comes from those, because on the other side of every single one of those, I've done amazing and great things to repair, recoup and outdo. What I did the first time and what I've done really well is I've always shared openly and transparently about what those were, what caused them, what I did to reconcile through them and how I'm thriving on the other side.
Speaker 1:That's part of my gift, as well as listening, having some empathy, just giving people a safe space to be so like I could really, like I could tell you, like I know, what my gifts are, and maybe part of this is I didn't know what they were back in the day. I knew I liked to help people, but I didn't really know what the gift was, so I didn't even really know what to protect. And then I learned, because I stopped giving it to everybody and I started letting people be. But there are billions of people in the world 330 something million in the United States alone. I'm not gonna ever be for everybody. Not everybody could ever get help, but for the people who could could never get help from, could me Not that 330 million people are helpless but I couldn't possibly be the right help for everybody, and so it's ridiculous and it is immature to believe that I would need to be validated or approved of by the mass people, and that's okay. And I say mass like.
Speaker 1:What I'm referring to is like there's a group or groups of people in your life that you still want approval and validation from, and that is holding you back, because when you think of your dreams and your goals and your activity and your initiatives and you should get honest with yourself you're constantly comparing it through the lens of how you think they view it, and that's holding you back and preventing you from being honest with you. And when I stopped seeing things through the lens of people that weren't going to pay my bills, love my wife, parent my children, take care of my body for me, I realized it didn't matter. And not only did it not matter, I didn't have to convince them anymore. I didn't have to convince them that I was right or that it was okay or that I was making the right decision. I was able to just let people be, and that was great.
Speaker 1:And that's what you need to do, too, is let people be. And for those of you that are trying to drag people along on the ride because you're afraid to take it alone because it's dark and scary and cold for a season. You're getting nowhere, weighing the car down and never going down the path. Take the step, let them be, let it go and go. Try to be the best version of yourself.