Listener's Q+A | EP 91

Speaker 1: 0:01

Welcome to Never Stop Building, where we discuss all things business, growth and leveling up to become the most elite version of yourself. We're here to challenge fear and, shattered out, let's dive in. What is up everybody, welcome back to Never Stop Building. I'm your host, sam Kaufman, as always, super excited to be here talking with you today. Today we have another listeners Q&A episode. Look, I appreciate you all a lot. We got way more questions than I'm going to be able to answer in one episode, which is actually perfect because now we're going to have probably three episodes sequence on these questions alone. So thank you guys for asking these questions. Some of them one or two of them might have been a little goofy, but we're going to answer all of them as long as they are all appropriate, which they are, thankfully, so we'll jump right into it.

Speaker 1: 0:57

Question number one today how do you balance between coaching clients and running your other businesses? Question was asked by Erica Hemphill. It's actually a really incredible question, especially because so frequently I talk a lot about, and a lot of people talk a lot about, focus, and I'll be very honest with you guys. When I started bringing on one-on-one business coaching clients, one of my biggest concerns was detracting focus from my primary machine. Now, one of the things I've been really good at over the years is delegation. I say good at, obviously not perfected, and the funny thing about businesses you delegate something on Monday and three months later, if your business is growing and changing and you're recruiting and hiring and like attaining goals, what's going to end up happening, whether you like it or not, is your business is going to require redelegation, re-systemization, reprocessing procedure. You can't just delegate once and be done with something if your business is in the sub 10 years old range or if your business is in any kind of a growth period. Things are constantly changing, the market's constantly changing, consumer behavior is constantly changing, employee behavior, retention is constantly changing, and so, as much as we love stability, it's just not one of the things that happens as frequently as we would like it to.

Speaker 1: 2:21

So, now that all being said, the question was how do I balance coaching clients and running my other businesses? And the reality of the situation is I don't balance coaching clients and running my other businesses. What I do is I have and seek harmony in my life at all times, and so, as I brought on coaching clients, I didn't go from zero to 20 clients overnight or zero to 10 clients overnight. I got my first client and I worked my first client into my existing schedule and then I worked.

Speaker 1: 2:56

So a lot of one-on-one coaching involves two Zoom calls a month for an hour, unlimited access. I said unlimited in quotes because I'm not going to be awake at 3 o'clock in the morning or available at 3 o'clock in the morning, but pretty unlimited, unrestricted access to a really great coach Zoom calls. And so there's a lot of unscheduled work. That happens with coaching clients. You end up spending a lot of time thinking about praying, about worrying about loving on your clients, even when you're not on the call and they're not around, and most of them don't know that there are probably clients listening to this right now. We're like, oh shit, I had no idea. Like, yeah, dude, like I pray for you, I think about you, I talk about you to my wife in ways that I can help you and things that I'm worried about and how I want to be more involved in your life or your business. And so it's what I learned and bring on coaching clients was there's a lot more to it than two hours a month on Zoom. Now there are coaches who probably stick to their two hours a month on Zoom and, truth be told, you probably don't get a ton out of those, or maybe you get exactly what you need for a short period.

Speaker 1: 3:58

I always want to like continue to evolve and deliver and over deliver and over deliver and over deliver, because that's very. It's always been important to me, for all of my clients, for all of my businesses. That's always been important to me. I've always wanted to over deliver, like that, and so what I? What I think From a balanced perspective. I don't like the word balance, I like the word harmonize, and so one client and I just I'm very time and energy management focused, and so what I learned was when are my best coaching hours, where my brain is the most freed up for the client to have the best client experience on the call, and so I started scheduling calls around those times.

Speaker 1: 4:37

What I realized in coaching was that it was my primary passion helping and serving people, helping and serving small business owners, home service business owners that are trying to get through all of the things that I've already been through, that I failed at and succeeded at and screwed up in the pain and the sleepless nights, and if I can help you get through that in less time, with less pain than I did. Like that's my mission and purpose, and so what I started doing was delegating more from my businesses so that I could have more time to coach more clients, and it was a progressionary 24 month spin, a progressionary 24 month transition. But at this point, from a balanced perspective, I'm pretty much uninvolved, like at this point I'm the founder of the kitchen and bathroom innovation business, flooring store design side. I've pretty much delegated all day to day responsibilities away, and my 2024 and beyond is going to be very, very heavily focused on the home service business owner, the entrepreneur, the local small business owner and how I can help and serve them best. And so, from like a harmony perspective, how I'm harmonizing my spirit with my mission is I'm focusing very much on the coaching clients. And so, like I think, from a word of advice standpoint, my business was already at a place with people, in a place where things could be delegated, and I had been delegating for years. So like I didn't bring on coaching clients and then start delegating to key people for the first time. I had already been delegating to key people, so that was not new to me or foreign to me.

Speaker 1: 6:13

Had I not had that in place already, I do firmly believe that I would have been distracted and detracted from something, would have fallen apart terribly, and I'm grateful that it didn't fall apart terribly, though I will say there was challenges, hurdles and roadblocks along the way as I picked up more clients, because I fell much more in love with helping and serving the business owner, the executive, the person who is where I was. Then I was in love with serving the clients who were buying the products and services from my companies, and when that happened, it was incredibly important for me to be super honest with myself and go all in on my passion, like, regardless of the money, regardless of what the bigger output was like, I could definitely scale the companies I founded to way, way bigger numbers than I could scale my own time coaching. But I had to choose what I loved and was passionate about, and I believe that God will move in response to me, trusting him enough to do the things that really fulfill my purpose and mission, more so than just chasing the thing that has bigger numbers. And I don't believe that. I don't believe that. I believe that if I stay purpose and mission focused for the rest of my life I'm serving others, being the best version of myself possible and constantly leaning into the uncomfortable, scary, purpose driven actions. I'll never have to worry about money again and so, like when I just I had to really understand, like I had to delegate more away to make more time. You can't create more hours in the day, but you can absolutely create more time in your calendar by delegating things that should not be on your plate to begin with. So I hope that answers the question for you.

Speaker 1: 8:01

Next question. Next question as a recovering addict, how do you find ways to enjoy yourself? Let me reread this. Hold on, okay. As a recovering addict, how do you find ways to enjoy yourself at social gatherings where other people will be drinking Caveat? Staying home isn't an option. Sent by my wonderful wife, amanda Kaufman.

Speaker 1: 8:26

Well, I'll tell the story. So I got 10 plus years now clean and sober. I was a hardcore drug addict heroin, like all the bad stuff, alcoholic, all of it and when I got sober over 10 years ago, I did not go to social gatherings where other people would be drinking period. They have a saying in the 12 step community if you hang out in the barbershop long enough, you're gonna get a haircut. And so in the beginning, when it was super, super life or death for me and it still is, but the output I have to put into it has changed I didn't go to social gatherings where people would be drinking. I avoided them like the plague because I was not skilled enough in my recovery, mature enough in my recovery my emotions, my spirit, that I didn't trust myself to avoid the drink. I didn't trust myself to avoid the drug. I didn't trust myself and I was not trustworthy enough to do it. That's the plain and simple. It's like I see people all the time like they're freshly sober and they're like, well, like I can't be restricted. But no, restricted, like you're gonna die, like the only restriction that you should be worried about is overdosing and dying. You shouldn't be worried about your restrictive social gatherings because if you don't quit doing what you're doing, you're gonna die an early death. And I held onto that like I'm gonna die an early death. So in the beginning I did not attend social gatherings where people drank. It made me very uncomfortable. There was nothing beneficial for me there.

Speaker 1: 9:54

The most important thing in my life, the first couple of years clean, was staying clean. Now again like I almost died. I was an IV drug user who could not get his life together, who was in and out of jail, probation treatment centers, halfway houses, homelessness, like I wasn't going back. Now, fast forward a few years, some maturity, a lot of work on myself, tons of work on myself to not be that person anymore. How I enjoy myself at social gatherings. There's a couple of things. One, not afraid to leave.

Speaker 1: 10:28

If I go to the social gathering and I'm having some fun and I'm laughing and some people are drinking, like I don't mind people who have one or two drinks. I do not enjoy being around people who are four or five, six drinks in. So I have a time limit in my head. I will hang out with you while you're having a drink. I will not hang out with you while you're drunk. That's a boundary I'm not gonna cross, not because I think I'm gonna drink, but because you're not a respectable person drunk and I don't hang out with non-respectable people. It's that simple. The other thing I found to do is I bring a sober person with me. I'm always try to be with somebody else who's not drinking, because if I'm not, it does get really uncomfortable and it doesn't make me want to drink. Like I have no desire to use drugs or alcohol at this point in my life, but it's just not fun. It is uncomfortable to sit there with your cup of water if everyone else's intentions are to get drunk. So I don't hang out at places where the intention is to get drunk.

Speaker 1: 11:24

Now I go to like industry events throughout the year. People have a couple of drinks or there's like an after party at the back end of a conference or a show. It's fun for the first hour or two. There's music, people are having a couple of drinks. I don't not drinking at all. There's some food. It's fun, but I don't overstay my welcome.

Speaker 1: 11:43

I know when it's time for me to go upstairs, go back to my room and go to sleep. I have no interest in being out till midnight. I have none of that. Like I'm still going to bed by 10 o'clock. So like I think one of the most important things for me as far as like enjoying social gatherings without staying home is like the social part is fun, the drunk parts only fun for drunk people. I'm not a drunk person, I'm not staying, I'm not hanging out, I'm not interested and there's nothing you can do to convince me to stay and do that, even if you're like well, those were networking and relationships were made. Bullshit, bro, you don't remember what you talked about. They don't remember what you pitched them Total garbage. It's just an excuse to hang out and drink. So for me, I have time boundaries. I'm not afraid to leave. I stick to my normal routine. So, even if it's like after party, like come 10 o'clock, bro, like I should be in bed and I'm gonna head out, like I don't hang out past nine, 10 o'clock, whether people are drinking or not drinking the other thing, too, that I tell people all the time and I'm like I'm so glad I owned in on this when I did Drinking never made things better for me.

Speaker 1: 12:45

I can't have one drink. I am a recovering addict and alcoholic. There is no having one for me. If I have one, I'm having 12. If I have 12, I am embarrassing myself. I'm breaking into somebody's car, I'm doing something stupid, I'm making jokes I shouldn't make. I'm saying things I should say. I really, really love myself. I love that I'm a respectable husband, father, christian, business owner, coach, entrepreneur, leader in my church, my family, my community. I'm not risking that to feel drunk for two hours and then get sick. You have to be out of your fucking mind. The life that I've built sober is. The drunk me could not even visualize the life I've built sober and I'll never give the drunk me the life he had back. This is the person I choose to be and that makes it easy for me to hang out in the social gathering, have a little bit of fun. But also and everybody can relate to this the moment where you realize I'm not having fun anymore, I leave, I'm out, I'm done. It's really that simple. It's a good question, though I think more people struggle with this than they let on Cool.

Speaker 1: 13:55

Third question for today. I'm going to read the question in its entirety because it's great. Question is as my spirit animal, what's the best way you've seen to deal with the emotional roller coaster of entrepreneurship? Huge wins one day probably moved your life ahead of measurably. Next day, you feel like you're the worst leader ever and you have no clue how you're in business when realistically, it's insignificant and probably not even a huge deal. Asking for a friend, johnny Buck. Johnny, I love you, bro, happy to be your spirit animal. So what's the best way you've seen a deal with the emotional roller coaster of entrepreneurship man, personal development, personal development People get into coaching all the time hey, I need your help to fix my business. Cool, we can do a little bit of work on the business.

Speaker 1: 14:47

But what always comes to light 100% of the time the state of your health, the state of your bank account, the state of your marriage, the state of your faith, the state of your relationship with your children, the state of your relationship with yourself and the reality of the situation is that the roller coasters of entrepreneurship are just the roller coasters of your current level of emotional maturity, taken to the extreme, because entrepreneurship tests you like nothing else will test you. And I will repeat that the reality is the emotional roller coaster of entrepreneurship is the same as the emotion is, is equal to the emotional maturity level that you're currently at, except magnified, because entrepreneurship will test you beyond anything will ever test you. The way to get through this is to become a more emotionally mature man or woman. There are a lot of ways to do this. Emotional intelligence 2.0 is a phenomenal, easy read book that is a great starter to start to uncover what emotional immaturity looks like and what emotional maturity looks like.

Speaker 1: 15:57

I've given it to plenty of people. I've ran a few times myself and I'm not the pinnacle of emotional maturity, but I am damn proud of where I have gotten to in the last 10 years, basically since I got sober. That's when that started for me. When I got clean from drugs and alcohol, I learned quickly that I was a child in an adult body. I was emotionally stunted. I was not. I did not mature internally, emotionally or psychologically, the way that my peers did. Basically, when I started using at a young young team, I stopped growing up, and I use drugs instead of growing up, and so, as a 22 year old, freshly clean and sober, I had to first start growing up. I had the brain of a 14 year old, a 13 year old, a 12 year old. It was rough, and by accepting that, humbly though, I was able to start doing the necessary work to grow myself from the inside out.

Speaker 1: 16:55

And so the emotional roller coaster of entrepreneurship it's just a reflection of your current emotional maturity level, and so the thing to do here is get more emotionally mature, get tuned up spiritually. If you don't believe in something, find something. You need to believe in something greater than ourselves. I believe in God. I believe God's real. I'm a follower of Jesus Christ, but I don't care what you believe or follow. You just have to believe in something that's greater than you in this universe. Get tuned up with yourself.

Speaker 1: 17:23

Physically, health and fitness, both internal and external. Exercise every day. This is not some like suggestion. This is science, man. This is legitimately proven. Human beings need to exercise, not just for the physical benefits. What happens to the brain when we exercise? I'm reading a book right now called forever strong, by Gabriel lions, and it talks about the the insane, insane decline in brain health and physical health when we do not have adequate skeletal muscle mass on our bodies. We all need to be doing resistance training and exercise to be putting on skeletal muscle mass to protect ourselves. That's one way to become more emotionally mature. Some of our emotional maturity comes from brain chemical and neuro pathway and balances and things that are screwed up in the brain. Exercise is a great first way to fix that.

Speaker 1: 18:17

Now I know who asked this question. I know you're exercising Spiritual health, emotional health, physical health, man, and and the truth is it's really understanding that, like you, are right where you're supposed to be. You are right where you're supposed to be. You can't rush the process and you can't stop the process unless you quit and I know you're not going to do that. I know for a fact you're not going to do that. Being okay with where you are right now and understanding some patients, understanding some disciplines and consistency in the process, and realizing that the roller coaster is of information, you have a choice whether you jump on the emotional roller coaster.

Speaker 1: 18:59

The information roller coaster goes on, with or without your permission. I quote good news, quote unquote bad news a sale here, a lost sale here, an employee hired here and employee quit here. How we define this news is whether or not we choose to jump on the emotional roller coaster. The information train is coming, whether you like it or not, and one of the craziest things about owning a business is the ever flowing, constant, constant train of information. What you'll have to learn how to do is not jump on the emotional roller coaster next to the information train and learn how to process that information not as good or bad, but just as is. This is just information that requires me to make a decision. I will make that decision, I will take the necessary action, I will move on. The next thing I want to do is get to this for the emotional roller coaster.

Speaker 1: 19:54

Entrepreneurship is get your identity away from your business. If you are personally identifying as your company, personally identifying as the winner loss of your employees, personally identifying as your client experience, personally identifying as your bank account, you're never going to feel like a winner. You have to stop personally identifying as your business, or business is a leaving living, breathing organism all on its own. It may be a reflection of you because you built it. It may have some components of you, some personality of you, but it is not you. You have to find ways to have self esteem and confidence outside of your company. I cannot stress that enough. I hope that helps. Guys, thank you for listening to this week's listener Q&A. I love these. We're gonna have another one coming out in a week or two. I got a bunch more questions to answer. If you're enjoying this podcast great reviews, subscribe, send it to somebody that you think would get some value out of it. Who needs it, and I'll see you guys next time.